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Fiction Ages 12+
Pages: 192
Themes: death, family
Publisher: Orca Book Publishers
Pub Date: 01/Jan/2001
Lexile Level: 600
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Fourteen year old Pamela Collins is struggling to come to terms with her mother's death. Somewhat shy, Pamela is thoughtful, full of passion, often funny and sometimes tearful as she learns to cope with the emotional overload the tragedy has brought to her life. Her favourite things include walking alone in Lynn Canyon Park, the art of Emily Carr, and a certain boy with a "wicked grin." At the moment she dislikes her English teacher, shopping and being singled out for special treatment because of her motherís death. Pamela is tall and slim and mostly uncomfortable with her rapidly changing body. She is unsure of herself and unsure of the loyalty of her friends.

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"Sometimes funny, sometimes tragic and always powerful."
"In this gentle and introspective look at the emotional overload of a teenage girl, younger readers will find themselves relating to and caring about the realistically drawn characters."
The Observer
"Deals with complex issues with great honesty; it ends with resolutions that answer our questions while leaving the door open for more possibilities. All in all, a wonderful book."
Center for Children's Books
"Holubitsky deftly captures the clumsy sulkiness that hides adolescent heartbreak." "This is a story that manages to avoid traps of obvious confessionality while still compellingly revealing the pain and labor of adjustment to loss."
Publisher's Weekly
"Authentic and insightful."
"Full of sharp, funny observations and up-to-date references." "Holubitsky shows real talent for writing about the world of teens and the slow road to emotional healing."
Children's Literature
"Holubitsky has successfully caught the nuances of adolescent life with its mercurial highs and lows." "Highly recommended."
The Georgia Staight
"This is a YA novel to watch come awards time." "The subject is dark, of course, but Holubitsky writes Pam's diary entries with a rollicking lightness 12- to 16-year-olds will relish."
Edmonton Journal
"A novel whose strength comes from the way in which it leads us to recognize the contemporary world of the teen herd while it applauds those who are determinedly their own people."


ABA Pick of the List  | 1999 | Commended
ALA Best Books for Young Adults  | 2000 | Commended
YALSA Quick Picks  | 1999 | Long-listed
CBC "This Morning" Book Panel Selection  | 1999 | Commended
CCBC Our Choice starred selection  | 1999 | Commended
CLA Young Adult Book Award  | 1999 | Winner
IODE Violet Downey Book Award  | 2000 | Winner
Manitoba Young Readers' Choice Award nominee  | 2001 | Short-listed
New York Public Library's Books for the Teen Age  | 1999 | Commended
PNLA Young Reader's Choice nominee  | 2002 | Short-listed
Red Cedar nominee  | 1999 | Short-listed
Ruth Schwartz Children's Book Award nominee  | 1999 | Short-listed
Teacher Librarian Magazine Best Books for Young Adults  | 1999 | Commended
Tiny Torgi Audio Award nominee  | 2001 | Short-listed

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